For if you go down to the gym today, you’re sure of a big surprise. Given the little physical exercise of late, many of us have about a year of flab to burn off. Gym memberships in many parts of the world over are hence rocketing. Yes, the zeitgeist that is wellness is a metaphor for a world starting to open up again.
There was therefore never a better time for The Nanjinger to send a correspondent undercover to join a gym in Nanjing and report back as to the most bizarre things he uncovered visiting almost every day over a 3-month period.
As a caveat, this exclusive only deals with the goings on in the gym’s swimming pool and male changing room. This is on account of heaps of previous media elsewhere discussing the bizarre behaviour in the gyms themselves, examples such as the young ladies who work out in high highs. And because we don’t know a dumb bell from a dumb ass.
Hence, herein the top five oddities you will likely encounter.
5. The Wideboy (小伙子) in the Changing Room who Smokes
Initially we though that this was an extreme anomaly, but then it happened again, and again.
The first chap responded indignantly to the retiree who challenged him. “Us young people have so much pressure”, he said, blissfully unaware of how ridiculous his cliché had already become. On the next occasion, the two overweight offenders could hardly muster a snigger, and an “Excuse us, we’re sorry. We didn’t know [about the rule]”.
4. Formation Swimming
Many swimming pools in Chinese gyms are divided into two lanes, with the wider lane occupying perhaps two-thirds of the pool. This is reserved for swimming lessons, practice, children and horseplay. The narrower lane is reserved for the serious swimmers and there are strict rules of etiquette to follow.
With the lane essentially now a two-way road, it is able to accommodate people swimming in opposite directions. The unwritten rule is to swim a length and then move to other side of the lane for the return leg, allowing an appropriate amount of safe distance from the swimmer in front. Frankly, they look like planes lining up to land at Heathrow.
3. Naked Use of WeChat
Back in the changing room, you’re no one today unless you can strip off and lounge around staring at WeChat. The preferred position, it would appear, is with one foot on the other knee. And with that, we are now lost for words.
2. The Mermaid Fin
Last time we checked, tying someone’s feet together and then hurling them into deep water is a type of torture. Not so for the mother of a 7 or 8-year old whom The Nanjinger observed, snapping photos of her daughter perched precariously on the edge of the pool in imminent danger of falling in without the use of her feet. The gym’s swim coaches/life guards remained blissfully unaware; they being preoccupied with teaching three or four people to swim simultaneously and/or looking at their phone.
Listen, it’s ok for mermaids but not for little girls. Many studies conducted into the safety of such “toys” have found that wearing mermaid tails and fins can reduce a child’s ability to swim by up to 70 percent.
1. We still have difficulty believing it, but taking the cake is… Standing Naked in Front of the Mirror with the Hairdryer.
In this, the most literally eye-opening of our observations, it appears the towel is now an outdated concept. For now The Nanjinger can introduce the world’s latest and greatest complete waste of electricity.
And they don’t just dry the hair on their head; then come the legs, armpits; even the slippers.
