Without empathy, we would be robots, merely existing without the ability to connect. Sure, parents would still take care of their children and we would go on with our day-to-day lives, but there would never again be a shoulder to cry on, a free hug or a helping hand.

没有同理心，我们就会成为机器人，只是存在，没有联系的能力。 当然，父母仍然会照顾他们的孩子，我们会继续我们的日常生活，但再也不会有可以哭泣的肩膀、免费的拥抱或援助之手了。

Although many would agree that Chinese people are, on the whole, very friendly and polite, it is easy to think that there is a lack of day-to-day empathy. When someone bumps into another person, it may be unrealistic to expect an apology, due to the sheer size of the population. In more serious instances, a Chinese person may turn a blind eye when somebody is hurt or in need of help.

虽然许多人会同意，总的来说，中国人非常友好和有礼貌，但很容易认为缺乏日常的同理心。 当有人碰到另一个人时，由于人口规模庞大，期望道歉可能是不现实的。 在更严重的情况下，当有人受伤或需要帮助时，中国人可能会視而不見。

Does this theory ring true and if so, why?

这个理论听起来是真的吗？如果是的话，为什么？

Vicky Chen is a local Nanjing actress. When The Nanjinger asked about China’s apparent lack of public empathy, Vicky referred to the Peng Yu case that happened in Nanjing in 2006, also referenced in our article, “A Walk in Their Shoes; China and the World’s Empathy Paradox”. Xu Shoulan, an elderly lady, fell as she she was getting off the city bus. During her fall, she broke her femur. A man named Peng Yu assisted Xu to the local hospital. When Xu learned that she would need surgery for her broken femur, she accused Peng of being the cause of her fall. The case went to court where Peng was found to be liable and had to pay damages.

Vicky Chen是南京当地的女演员。 当《南京人》问及中国明显缺乏公众同理心时，Vicky提到了2006年发生在南京的彭宇案，也提到了我们的文章“站在他们的立场上；中国和世界的同理心悖论”。 一位年迈的女士徐寿兰在下城市公交车时摔倒了。 在她摔倒的时候，她的股骨骨折了。 一个叫彭宇的人帮助徐去当地医院。 當徐得知她的股骨骨折需要手術時，她指責彭是她摔倒的原因。 此案被告上法庭，彭被认定负有责任，必须支付赔偿金。

“Unfortunately this is not the first or last case in which the ‘good guys’ are framed. It is difficult to simply bask in the joy of doing something nice for others around here. We always need to worry about what the consequences will be”, Vicky said.

“不幸的是，这不是第一个或最后一个被陷害’好人’的案例。 很难简单地沐浴在这里为别人做一些好事的喜悦中。 Vicky说：“我们总是需要担心后果。”

Over on the expat side, Jessica Travis is British and has been living in Nanjing for over 10 years. During her time in Nanjing, Travis was hit by a taxi, whereby she rolled onto the bonnet, got thrown into the air and landed on the ground. Instead of offering to call the police or an ambulance, the taxi driver suggested to take her to the hospital himself. Fearing his driving skills, Travis refused to get into his car. Instead, the taxi driver gave her ¥200 and drove off.

在外籍人士方面，杰西卡·特拉维斯是英国人，在南京生活了10多年。 在南京期间，特拉维斯被一辆出租车撞倒，她滚到引擎盖上，被扔到空中，然后降落在地上。 出租车司机没有主动报警或叫救护车，而是建议自己带她去医院。 Travis害怕他的驾驶技术，拒绝上他的车。 相反，出租车司机给了她200元就开车走了。

Could this apparent lack of empathy in China be a result of how the Chinese view money? As these questions kept surfacing, The Nanjinger researched an interesting development that came in the form of a paper written by Dr. Stephen F. Myler. Originally from the UK, but living and working in China for 15 years, he currently resides in Shanghai where he treats patients with mental issues. His aforementioned paper looks at the situation where a single child who lives among six adults (mother, father, grandparents on both sides), experiences a world where any situation yields the answer, “yes”.

在中国，这种明显的缺乏同情心，可能是中国人如何看待金钱的结果吗？ 随着这些问题不断浮出水面，《南京人》以Stephen F. Myler博士撰写的论文的形式研究了一个有趣的发展。 他最初来自英国，但在中国生活和工作了15年，目前居住在上海，在那里他治疗精神问题患者。 他上述的论文探讨了一个生活在六个成年人（母亲、父亲、两边的祖父母）中的单亲孩子，经历了一个任何情况都会给出答案“是”的世界。

“When a child is constantly being told the word ‘yes’, this means that they don’t learn very much about what other people need ahead of themselves. In the West, we would view this as being spoiled. But that is not the Chinese way of looking at things. The parents and grandparents see the child as special; especially boys. Later on they have trouble understanding what people want, because they’ve only ever had to put their own needs first”, Dr. Myler told The Nanjinger.

“当一个孩子不断被告知’是’这个词时，这意味着他们事先没有学到太多关于别人需要什么。 在西方，我们会认为这被宠坏了。 但那不是中国人看待事物的方式。 父母和祖父母认为孩子很特别；尤其是男孩。 后来，他们很难理解人们想要什么，因为他们只能把自己的需求放在第一位，”Myler博士告诉《南京人》。

The Doctor continued; when we grow up in larger families we tend to see examples of empathy all the time. We learn a lot about empathy through play, through disappointment, and by not getting what we want, as well as understanding that other people’s needs might have to come before our own. This includes our parents, brothers and sisters.

博士继续说道；当我们在大家庭中长大时，我们往往会一直看到同理心的例子。 我们通过游戏、失望和没有得到我们想要的东西，以及理解其他人的需求可能必须先于我们自己的需求，从而学到了很多关于同理心的知识。 这包括我们的父母、兄弟姐妹。

“[In China] when there is an accident or somebody falls off a bike, people look blankly on and wonder more about how it happened and if there is money involved, rather than whether or not the person got hurt. This is often because money in China has become the sense of purpose in a persons life. It isn’t what they do with the money, it’s simply what the money can do for them”, Dr. Myler explained.

“[在中国]当发生事故或有人从自行车上摔下来时，人们会茫然地看着它，想知道它是如何发生的，以及是否涉及钱，而不是这个人是否受伤。 这通常是因为在中国，金钱已经成为人们生活中的目标感。 Myler博士解释说：“这不是他们用钱做什么，而只是钱能为他们做什么。”

It is important to keep in mind that different cultures view empathy in different ways, and not to make judgements. There will always be people who have more or less empathy than others, and so it remains that we should not generalise China as a whole. We also need keep in mind that Westerners tend to come with higher expectations with regards to empathy. As someone who was born and raised in the USA, I can speak from personal experience and say that Westerners tend to expect people to understand why they feel a certain way. But back to China, there is also Dr. Myler’s theory, that a lack of empathy, in this country particularly, could be due to the one-child policy. Since there is no scientific evidence to prove whether or not this theory is true, we can only view it on a case-by-case basis. However, if this theory does hold true, then it also holds true in every country outside of China and to any child that is born into a family as an “only child”.

重要的是要记住，不同的文化以不同的方式看待同理心，而不是做出判断。 总会有人比别人多或少同理心，因此，我们不应该将中国作为一个整体来概括。 我们还需要记住，西方人往往对同理心抱有更高的期望。 作为一个在美国出生和长大的人，我可以根据个人经验说，西方人倾向于期望人们理解他们为什么会有某种感觉。 但回到中國，還有邁勒博士的理論，即缺乏同理心，特別是在這個國家，可能是由於獨生子女政策造成的。 由于没有科学证据证明这个理论是否正确，我们只能逐案看待它。 然而，如果这个理论确实成立，那么它在中国以外的每个国家以及任何作为“独生子女”出生在一个家庭的孩子都是如此。

We therefore should not hold the view of Chinese people as less empathetic; they are (again), merely different. Asian cultures, on the whole, are more modest in how they show empathy or affection. For many Chinese people, there is the modern day fear that if they help somebody who is hurt, they will be held financially liable. But one common theme that keeps coming up is money. In China it is relatively common to hear people say, “I do not worship a God, I worship money”. Money is a powerful tool, but one that has also created fear; a fear so powerful that many people turn their heads when others are in need of help.

因此，我们不应该认为中国人不那么富有同情心；他们（再次）只是不同而已。 总的来说，亚洲文化在表达同理心或感情的方式上更加谦虚。 对于许多中国人来说，现代人们担心，如果他们帮助受伤的人，他们将承担经济责任。 但一个不断出現的共同主题是金钱。 在中国，听到人们说“我不崇拜上帝，我崇拜金钱”是比较常见的。 金钱是一种强大的工具，但也造成了恐惧；这种恐惧是如此强大，以至于当其他人需要帮助时，许多人都会转过头来。

The phrase “保护弱者” (baohu ruozhe) means “Protect the Weak”. The law is determined in a way to protect the weak and injured. But the question remains, is this set up really working? People are afraid to help each other for fear of being held liable, because in China, money is everything.

“保护弱者”（baohu ruozhe）这个短语的意思是“保护弱者”。 法律的制定方式是为了保护弱者和受伤者。 但问题仍然存在，这个设置真的有效吗？ 人们害怕互相帮助，因为害怕被追究责任，因为在中国，钱就是一切。