The case of a young girl in Nanjing who walked barefoot to her local police station in order to complain about her personal situation has highlighted the plight of increasing numbers of children in China from single-parent families.
It was in Hengxi Subdistrict of Nanjing’s Jiangning District where the 12-year-old girl recently voiced her intention. “I’m so lonely at home that I want to complain to the police”, the unnamed girl was reported as saying after a quarrel with her family.
It emerged that the girl’s parents are divorced. She lives with her father and stepmother, while her biological elder sister would occasionally also take care of her. But her father is busy with work every day and seldom has time at home.
“Then after my sister had her own child, she doesn’t care much about me. I’m too lonely!”, said the girl, reports the Yangtze Evening News. Unaccompanied for most of the time, she played games on her phone, chatted on the internet and vented her frustrations via online posts.
On the day of the incident, the girl spontaneously announced she was going to the police. Going outside barefoot, she began the 1-kilometre walk to the police station. Her sister gave chase but was unable to dissuade her.
Eventually taking matters into her own hands, the sister called the police, after which Hao Lianfang, a policeman from Ganquan Lake Community, immediately responded. “As soon as I was on the scene, her father also arrived. The little girl was still barefoot. Her sister carried her shoes, but she didn’t wear them”, said Hao.
The officer went on to criticise and educate the father and sister in front of the young girl, which at least brought her some psychological relief.
While Hao also urged the family to strengthen communication between the two sides, how should parents in such situations establish a sunny and healthy psychological mechanism?
Parent-child relationships in single-parent families are relatively tense. According to Wang Juanjuan, a national second-level psychological consultant and Secretary General of the Jiangning District Psychological Association, many parents either care too much or are indifferent. As a result, children are reluctant to express their real emotions and ideas to their parents.
With single-parent families finding it difficult to take care of their children alone, communication between parent and child mostly ends unpleasantly. Children then gradually close their hearts.
In China especially, many parents’ communication with their children is limited to asking after their physical needs; “Have you had enough to eat?”, “What else do you want?”, etc.
Wang advocates for parents to also ask questions such as, “How do you feel today?”, “What do you think?” and, “Are you happy?”. Parents should learn to listen carefully to the real feelings in their children’s hearts, so that they may feel loved instead of the need for police intervention.
