I grew up in a small town in Burgundy, France, called Nevers. It was the kind of unstimulating place that every youth would leave in a rush as soon as they graduated high school, which was pretty much what I did. Growing up, I had been to Paris and Lyon, France’s two largest cities, a few times, and I was always fascinated by the hustle and bustle proper to big cities. The tall buildings, the underground networks, the variety of people, shops, restaurants. … All of it felt to me like a world of endless opportunity.
Some time after I turned 18, I moved to England, my father’s country. I hadn’t experienced big cities yet, and I lived in small-ish towns again. Mostly I lived in Folkestone, a pleasant harbour town about an hour from London by train. I had a great group of friends there and a decent job, but something was missing. There wasn’t enough excitement in my life and I felt utterly bored living in a place that didn’t have too much to offer. London felt like the answer to this.
For about 2 years, I tried very hard to find a corporate job there that matched my skills and experience, to no avail. Eventually I started thinking about moving to a big city in some faraway land and soon enough, I was reading about ESL teaching in China.
After having absorbed countless articles and blogs about life as an expat in China, I was ready to commit to the big move. But first I had to determine where I wanted to go in this gigantic country. I knew I wanted a big city, but considering China has over a hundred cities with 1 million+ inhabitants, I still had some research to do.
Quite quickly, Nanjing became my top choice. It seemed perfect on paper; it was modern, yet boasting lots of history; it had fancy skyscrapers, yet remained very green with many parks, lakes and even a mountain in the middle; it was big, but not oppressively so like Shanghai or Beijing; and finally, it was conveniently located a short train ride away from a number of interesting destinations.
Oh, and it had its own international airport. I was sold.
Finding a job proved to be surprisingly easy and quick. I had expected months of job hunting, but all of 20 minutes online sufficed to land the interview that got me my first job in China. I flew to Beijing first, where I had a 2-week training, during which the company tried to tell me I couldn’t go to Nanjing because the city was over-staffed. I went ballistic on the HR lady, who asked me why I was so set on Nanjing. I gave her a passionate speech on the reasons why I thought Nanjing was the perfect city for me, which convinced her to send me there. And boy, am I glad I fought that battle!
When I finally got to Nanjing, I was instantly in love with the city. And having spent 2 weeks in Beijing beforehand made me love it even more.
In the capital, I had felt like everything was grey and dull, with no greenery and no sky between buildings. Nanjing, in comparison, was a breath of fresh air. It was also a lot warmer (this was February) and I spent my first evening having food and drinks with colleagues outside Blue Frog in Xinjiekou. I knew, there and then, I would feel at home here. The apparent camaraderie between expats, the eclectic mix of nationalities, the crazy stories being told. … Everything was so exciting.
My expectations of Nanjing and of what life would be like there were high, but the city constantly exceeded them. As I became more and more familiar with Jiangsu’s capital, my fondness for it grew exponentially. With years passing, and expat life in China being what it is, lots of people I had got to know left, I moved to different parts of the city, and so on. Many spots thus became associated with specific memories, and while I kept enjoying whatever the present was offering in the city, I also developed a certain nostalgia of bygone times.
Being in Xinjiekou’s metro station always reminded me of my first few days, gaping at the sheer size of the station, and struggling to find the right exit from the multiple choices at exit 21.
Being anywhere in Xianlin reminded me of my first year and the fantastic group of people I shared it with. Potato Bistro in particular, having been our favourite haunt for a drink after work. Being at Nanjing South Railway Station or Nanjing Lukou International Airport would bring back countless memories of trips taken to this or that place, and mostly of the feeling I always had coming back, that I was home.
As COVID is keeping me away from China, I often reminisce about all the things I loved about my life in Nanjing. Being stuck in a village where I know almost no one, which renders my social life virtually inexistent, I like to think about all my favourite socialising spots; Secco, Mai Pizza, Malt & Hop, Chaley or La Mia Casa to name just a few, that were all the theatre of many a memorable night.
Being without a car in a place where there’s not a lot to do besides hiking, I miss both the ease of transportation and the variety of activities available in Nanjing. Going on a boat ride around Xuanwu Lake, throwing incense sticks in the giant burning pot at Jiming Temple, walking along the historic city wall, riding an e-bike along the scenic roads that surround the Purple Mountain area… and countless other things.
Having to stay at my sister’s, I miss my spacious apartment overlooking the Olympic Stadium from the 23rd floor of a tower in a tranquil, leafy community next to Wanda Square, a convenient 7-minute walk from where I worked, with just about everything else I could need also within walking distance.
I have been stuck in France for about 6 months now, and even though I miss Nanjing immensely, I have accepted the fact that this chapter of my life is most likely finished. The virus situation is far from over, and I doubt China will generally reopen its borders to foreigners before next year. It’s too much time for me to just wait around.
I had to come up with a plan B that was good enough to replace my previous situation. So I started teaching freelance online, mostly catering to French speakers, as I speak their language and am in their time zone. While this has yet to prove lucrative, I have no intention to stay in France and I started researching places I could relocate to once I start earning a sustainable income. Since most of my clients will be in a European time zone, I have to stay in Europe for convenience’s sake.
And I now find myself with a problem; no city seems to match up with the expectations Nanjing created.
I love Italy, so I looked into Rome. Sure, the food is great, there’s amazing history and culture there, but it’s dirty, it stinks and there’s a fairly high amount of petty crime. Also, its tallest building is a rather uninspiring 30-floor residential tower on the outskirts of the city, which, for a skyscraper-loving guy like me, is rather dull.
I studied German for 7 years, so I looked into Berlin, thinking I could capitalise on my German. Sure, it also has interesting history and it offers what some argue is the best nightlife in Europe.
But it’s not green enough, its parks look bland compared to those of Nanjing, and so does its architecture. The same goes for Vienna, and Zürich is just too expensive.
The only city I can think of that somewhat matches up with Nanjing in terms of the balance I’m looking for is London, the city I originally sought to move to.
Like Nanjing, it boasts a beautiful marriage of old and new architecture that includes skyscrapers. Like Nanjing, it has many beautiful parks, and a major river flowing through the city. Like Nanjing, it has many quirky spots to eat or drink (although to be fair, London probably takes the lead in that respect, as well as with cultural activities on offer).
But unlike Nanjing, it doesn’t have a spotlessly clean metro system.
Unlike Nanjing, it doesn’t have a family-like network of tight-knit expats. Unlike Nanjing, it doesn’t have cheap transport or cheap housing. Unlike Nanjing, it doesn’t feel exotic. And most of all, unlike Nanjing, it isn’t home.
I have no doubt that I will be back in Nanjing, even if just to visit. My time living in the city may be over, but I will forever love it for the amazing collection of memories it gave me. Perhaps in the coming years, with time helping, another place will win over my heart, but as of right now, Nanjing ruined every other city for me.
