A Friday comes again, parents and cars crowed in front of Girls’ Dormitory to pick up their children for a fancy weekend. Tao Lizhu turns around into the room from balcony and packs the school bags, planning to spend her weekend in school’s library.
Tao is going to graduate from Sichuan University this summer but this memory never fade even years have passed by. Tao’s hometown, Yunyang, is 4-hour-driving away from the main city — Chongqing. She was attended Nankai middle school, ranked among the top 20 in China, since she’s twelve. Considering far distance and busy work, her parents go to Chongqing to see her every two weeks. It’s usual for her to live alone during weekends. “I miss them so much. I feel lonely sometimes and worry wether they live well in home, ” she said.
Students like Tao are quite a common group in big cities of China. Tons and thousands of students in China choose to leave parents for the big test, Gaokao, for from 3 to 6 years. They enjoy the preferential policies, like easier test or less competition than their hometown, on the condition that they conquer loneliness and are forced to be independent. On the one hand, losing parents’ accompany has big influences in their growth process, on the other hand, parents’ sacrifices give them more invisible pressure than friends. They’ve got the high quality education but lose the chance to stay with their closest person while family education matters a lot in this stage of life. CCTV has recorded a documentary, named “The Way to Schools”, describing little children who leave their parents for school in other cities. They don’t have to worry about clothes and food in schools, but a lack of parents’ love.
The Chinese government gives preferential policy for some less developed provinces and four municipalities directly under the Central Government at college entrance exam. These places may have more quota allocations, easier tests or better education conditions than other provinces. Wang Ziyi, 22-year-old, comes from Luzhou, Sichuan province. “I used to study in Chongqing for six years. Chongqing has more priority in Gaokao than Sichuan. I got good grades in previous school and I believe there are more opportunities to top university than staying hometown, ” he said.
Wang lived in the school dormitory and went to his aunt’s home every weekend. “Even if I’m a boy, I missed my parents sometimes, ” he said. Wang went back to Luzhou every summer and winter vacation. New semester beginning, he had to go back to Chongqing with his aunt. “It’s much better to have parents in the side. Facing problems both in study and life, I expect their advice but when make a phone call, I only say I’m fine,” he said.
Key schools in Chongqing will offer chances for several schools in towns around to continue their studies. Wu Wenjing，a 22-year-old girl, got the only chance of her junior middle school after high school entrance examination when she’s 15. Being two years resident students, Wu started learning arrange life and time correctly and feels herself become more independent and mature than others. “Of course I miss my home and parents, but my roommates comforted me a lot,” she said. There are several girls who stay in school even on weekends in Wu’s dormitory room. They talk to each other about their worry and pressure. “We help each other with heavy shopping bags, which makes feel that I’m not alone,” said Wu.
Studying in a strange city is not easy. Students’ parents make every effort to ensure them live well. Considering study stress, Wong’s mother came to Chongqing and rent a house near school to take care of him. She didn’t get high education and had no job in Luzhou before, but she started learning financial affairs. “Her work is not smooth at first, but I can feel she’s willing to do anything for me.” Wong starts to choke with sobs and eyes turn red “She sacrificed a lot, I appreciate it very much.”
In the final year, Wu’s mother quit her job and accompanied her in a rental house near school. “They didn’t give me pressure. I pushed myself. It was my most stressful period with tight time and heavy burden. I almost lose control of my feelings. ” It’s common for top students in her class. High expectation from parents and themselves, they do not allow mistakes. “Luckily, my head teacher lead me out of confusion, guiding me how to keep balance and release myself. Thanks for my effort, I’m content with my life now,” said Wu.
Lacking parents’ care does have influences in the growth stage. Actually, quite a number of students got great grades before leaving parents like Wang and Wu. However, lacking parents’ care and supervision and facing attractions, they lose their way. “Attractions are everywhere, materially and mentally. It’s easy for the less determined to forget why they come here at first,” Tao Lizhu says. “Parents in my hometown are still keen to send their children to Chongqing now. Students’ grandparents shoulder the responsibility to take care of them, but in most cases, grandparents or relatives can’t act as their parents. Students might indulge themselves,” said Tao.
Despite all family’s effort, Wang didn’t achieve his goal of getting into a key university. “I feel regret now. Not about studying in Nankai, but not controlling myself well. ” Wang has passed independent entrance examination of Chongqing University, one of the top 20 universities in China, allowing him enter the university with a much lower score than other students who only takes Gaokao. Following months, he was too confident and relaxed himself by hanging out with friends. At the end, his score is more than 300, far away from the requirement, failing to enter the university and ending up with a technical college.
Luckily, Wu Wenjing appreciates her self-control and hardworking in senior high school. “There was much more stress for me than others, but I hold on and now major in finance that I was dreaming of. ” Wu has got a job from Klynveld Peat Marwick Goerdeler, which is envied by people around.
“This is the magic of Gaokao and growth. When you have passed the time, you’ll find it’s a small obstacle in life and may appreciate what you have bared for it. It’s not the best way to select elite students, but most suitable way for China now,” Wu says.
