Showing off one’s self in the best possible light is a natural human attribute. But, just as with everything else, in China that concept is taken to new levels. Political correctness be damned; body pride is the way to go. Here, it’s every [wo]man for [her]himself.
Conformity to the standards of beauty accepted by the Middle Kingdom for eons is where it’s at. Most recently, we have seen fads such as the “A4 waist” and the “¥100 wrist”, whereby females aspire to the slimmest form possible.
And when it comes to inking oneself, albeit in the temporary sense, guess what folks, it’s the Year of the Dragon! And you know what that means.
Movie review site Rotten Tomatoes describes The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo as “both a great adaptation of a fantastic book but also a disturbing look in to the human psych”. This year, that’s to be taken very literally, as temporary tattoo vendors worldwide which scream slogans such as “Express Your Love for Asia with Temporary Tattoos” (sic?) commercialise that most respected of Chinese zodiacal animals.
But recently, an even more troubling trend has emerged, one it would appear to thankfully be so far confined to the Middle Kingdom.
Thank you, online shopping, for if we were to have in person requested the purchase of a set of fake belly buttons, at any vendor, irrespective of their particular trade or location in our fair City, we are fairly sure we would never, never, live down the embarrassment.
But here they are, on the opposing page in all their glory, and they cost a mere ¥9.34. For that, [in complete secrecy and about 48 hours] we got 64 identical temporary navel tattoos and the procedure as to their use.
They come complete with QR codes leading to instructional videos designed for a 4 year old, who of course has all the use in the world for a navel tattoo.
The modus operandi is is to place the temporary navel tattoo a few centimetres above the real deal and then pull a skirt or pair of trousers/shorts up by the same amount to obscure the latter. Hey presto; longer legs!
Meanwhile, the fake tattoo was not meant to also be spirited away; it needs to be shown off in style. Midriff revealing crop tops are also the way to go here as the perfect match for that now slimmed-down silhouette. And just to be sure, some of China’s fairer sex apply makeup around the tattoo to ensure a more genuine appearance.
Optical illusion? Kind of. But one of course could just wear shorter trousers or take up the hem, but why simplify things?
There is also another likely reason for the navel tattoo taking off in China as opposed to the west; almost every female in the Middle Kingdom knows darn well that the gods of Traditional Chinese Medicine shall frown down in disdain were they not to cover their abdomen to keep it warm.
But come on, let’s get down to the nitty gritty. Going down the line a bit and assuming any form of intimacy was ever going to take place, the presumed reaction of any given partner upon discovery of the original navel would be, “What the ****?! Two?! What is this? The Man with the Golden Gun?”.
It’s a joke that was also not lost on a user of China’s Instagram, Xiaohongshu. “Every beauty has two belly buttons! Here’s the secret to lengthening your legs!”, they said, as Premium Beauty News reported last year.
So between the dragons, navels, waists and wrists, China once again has, this time in the Department of Supposed Beauty, aced it like no other country ever could. But what any horned, toothed and fire-breathing serpent in the Middle Kingdom is supposed to do with a second belly button is beyond us.
