Do you get the feeling that whenever something good happens, something bad is almost certain to follow? I’m sure that almost everybody has experienced this in one way or another, at one point. There is some truth in the saying “a double-sided blade”, in so far there’s always a good and bad side to everything, apparent or otherwise.
Even birthdays.
As a child I’ve always looked forward to birthdays. The friends, the parties, the cake… I remember waking up, jumping out of bed and gleefully shouting, “It’s my birthday!” It’s always so exciting to wake up and know that a day of festivities is about to follow.
My mom would smile, bend down and pat my head. “Happy birthday sweetie!”
“Mummy, why don’t you have birthday parties anymore?”
“Well, birthdays for you means you’re growing up. Birthdays for mummy means mummy’s getting old.”
“Mummy will never get old!”
“Thanks sweetie.”
But the truth is, mummy will eventually get old, and with each passing birthday the next one gets more daunting.
We would grow up, each year passing with another birthday wrapped up in a bow, like those artistic cakes you’d see in bakeries. Those fondant covered cakes that tower over us, sugar flowers painted with food colouring wrapped around the base and up to the top. In the end it’s just a façade. Beautiful, but bland and tasteless, even though we all gobble it up anyways because it’s our birthday cake.
I think those cakes represent birthdays perfectly. A ceremonial celebration that was fun and exciting to us as kids, but something we’d acknowledge and put aside as adults. A thing that we would eventually stop counting down towards and instead celebrate in private, as an understanding that time must pass.
Older women feel this especially. As time passes, so does our youth and beauty. Admittedly, most of us are vain and would like to stay young forever, but why are women punished by the passing of time the most? Typically this is because women are generally more judged by their appearances while men are judged more on their salaries.
You probably know of the phrase; “Never ask a woman her age and a man his salary”. Sure, we’ve evolved, but women are still insecure about their looks and their age. It’s probably due to human nature of wanting a healthy mate.
You might ask, “Well why should I let what others think get in my way of life?”
Good point. You shouldn’t, but what about your opinions? If you want to live every moment of your life happily and not dread your own birthday, you must accept the fact what’s going to come will come. You will eventually age, and die, but that’s all a part of nature.
In Chinese tradition, death should be somber, and we should treat the dead with respect and fear death.
I respect that.
Yes, death is not something to be taken lightly. Yet, we should not let death prevent us from celebrating our birthdays.
Take the Mexicans’ Day of the Dead as an example. They celebrate their deceased ones because they believe the Day of the Dead is a holiday for the dead, and they should still celebrate. The Chinese equivalent of the Day of the Dead would be Qing Ming, or Tomb Sweeping Day.
But on this day, unlike in Mexico, no Chinese family would have a celebration and dance. Instead we would go to our loved ones’ graves and pay our respects. It’s a somber occasion, and hence we respect the passing of time, and to a certain degree, fear it.
In other words, death and old age should be accepted, and the passing of time celebrated, not feared.
So, no matter your age, you should still have a blasting party on your next birthday.
