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Let’s Get Physical (3) Hibernation; Summer Bodies are made in Winter

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Remember those balmy summer mornings? The sun streaming through the cracks in the curtain signalling the start of another day? The birds singing at your window, cheering you on as you pull on your skinny vest top, ready to energise yourself with a pumping workout. The animals of the forest scurrying along side you, as if to challenge your pace. The mountain breeze whispering words of encouragement as you burst up the hills. The cool waters rushing under you, as you glide through the warm water like an eel…. but a glamorous, good looking, sleek and cool eel. Yeah, that’s exactly what it was like, right?!

But now, the winter doth call…the sun shuns you. The only thing to greet you in the morning is the screaming sound of your alarm, the cold marble floor of your ridiculously freezing bathroom (under-floor heating shall be mine), thermal undergarments that are as much of a workout to get on, as the workout itself. The animals that were your friends in the summer gone by …well, let’s face it, they were just a figment of your imagination.

You go to work; it’s dark. You come home; it’s darker. Hankerings for fresh and light salads have been overtaken by cravings for heavy pasta dishes, with side helpings of bread, deep-fried in full fat cheese, with a dipping sauce of lard.

But then, if it was easy, everyone would do it. But they don’t. You DO! So suck it up. Summer bodies are made in winter. There’s no way of getting round this. Every inch of your body is screaming “HIBERNATION!”. So you need:

  1. A Goal
  2. A Plan to Reach that Goal
  3. An Iron Will

If you lack just one of these, believe me, you’ll be depressing yourself faster than the cost of rugby supporters’ t-shirts across Europe. (Top tip for people from the British Isles; call the relatives and get them to buy your International Day costumes now, for less than any sprout from a local street vendor in China!)

First; the Goal

Speed? Distance? Weight? Width? Run 10k in less than an hour. Bike 100k. Maintain your weight. Loose three inches from your belly. Choose a goal that is between achievable and challenging. Pitch it right.

Second; the Plan

Timetable your training. Let nothing come between you and your “appointments” with yourself. Make meals on the weekend and freeze them. Don’t come home from work starving and hit redial on the Indian Takeaway. Be ready with nutritious stews or soups.

Finally; the Iron Will…

Get a severely motivational play list, stick pictures of yo’ sexy summer self on the fridge; record your own alarm message; “Get up lard-face, shake yourself, show me what you got!”, or put on the Crazy Frog music in the most far-to-reach corner of your house; that’ll get you up. It’ll ruin any semblance of a relationship you have with your cohabiters, but well, there needs to be sacrifices.

So ask yourself… How do you want to come through the other side of winter? Proud and ready for the summer of your life? Or picking out the remains of cookie crumbs from those extra folds? Not sexy, people. So do it now. Get a goal, get a plan, get an iron will. Put the deep-fried lard DOWN and move away from the double choc-chip cookies, people… And don’t let me catch you on that stationary bike with a magazine (because it’s been a while since we talked about that).

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